About Elizabeth Dadson

Beauty insider who loves to share all things beautiful and good for the soul.

The Founder of Beautifully Zen

Video

I have recently received a few emails about what it is I do as a therapist, so I thought I would share this short video about my day job from my website. It features some feedback from those I have been gifted to share my treatment room with and gives those of you who that have asked, a feel of what it is I actually do. I am based in the UK in London and Kent.

Namaste
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6 Tips On Dispelling a Negative Mind

Kim-Kardashian-Happy-Positive-Thinking-Day-Quotes-010-491x491We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves” – The Buddha

When I was a teenager, I was a real worrier. I’d often spend my Sunday evenings, working myself up into a complete frenzy about how certain situations at school would work out. My little brain would go into over drive, imagining things that hadn’t even happened. I’d convince myself I would fail the math exam coming up, or my drama presentation would be a complete flop and everyone would laugh at me. I look back now and realise that I was in fact a prisoner of my own negative thoughts. Many a Sunday evening would be clouded by my worries, and in turn cause me a lot of unnecessary stress and anxiety. A little cloud of anxiousness, created by a fear within my own head.

As I grew older and under went my own spiritual training, I began to accept, that if I wanted to live a positive, happy and fulfilled life, I needed to learn to control my own negative thought patterns. For I believe, like the Buddha once taught, the energetic vibrations of our thoughts, attract experiences to us and therefore we become what we think.

Become truly aware of your thought patterns – There is nothing wrong with having negative thoughts, we are human, lets face it, it’s going to happen. But when it does, try to really acknowledge that thought and take time to explore it, replacing it with a positive action. For example, you are due to give a presentation at work, and you realise you are thinking that it is all going to go wrong. You are going to slip up, forget the words, not get your point across and the boss is going to hate it! As soon as you truly acknowledge that thought. Stop. Breathe and explore the that it is in fact totally pointless convincing yourself this is going to happen, as in truth, when you really look at the situation, you actually have no clue how it is going to turn out! You are simply falling into the pattern of your own negative thought process.  Explore the possibility that it could in fact go marvelously well, you may deliver a presentation that everyone finds interesting and enjoyable. Your points are seen as strong and encouraging, and your boss in fact loves it!  Don’t allow your negative thoughts to own you, acknowledge them, but don’t attach yourself to them. When you refuse to give them power, they will dispel on their own accord.

Every time a negative thought arises write down 3 things that are positive in your life – My own spiritual tutor gave me this task when I first started teachings with her. It was a gracious way of teaching me the art of being thankful. When completed properly, every day, it really is helpful in keeping your mind focused on all that is good in your life. The trick is to think of 3 different things every time.  It can be as simple as being grateful that your train was on time, you wake up and the sun is shining, you are able to enjoy a fresh sandwich and a cup of coffee at lunch time. Or you can explore more meaningful reasons why you are happy. You are grateful for your loving partner, your clean bill of health, your beautiful kids or the roof over your head.

The Power of Positive Mantras – During times of challenge or turmoil, I love to write mantra’s on little post it notes and I stick them around my house and office. A will say them in my mind every time I see one. For me, they act as a gentle reminder that I am in fact completely in charge of my thought process.  I use sayings such as “Everything is always as it should be, I grow with every challenging experience”, “Positive thought is positive action”,  “Challenges are what make life interesting, and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful”  You can obviously make up your own.

Be mindful of playing the victim – For some, life is a complicated journey of stresses, strains and constant challenges. For others, life is a wonderful adventure, full of exciting opportunities to grow, experience and develop. When we truly start to accept that our thoughts have a direct and powerful effect on the world around us and the experiences we face, challenges suddenly become a learning tool, rather than an opportunity to dwell in self-pity, sadness or worry.  When something challenging happens, truly step back and take the opportunity to explore that experience in a completely different light. Acknowledge how the situation is making you feel, and explore how those feelings are showing you or teaching you something. I truly believe, every experience is sent to teach us something, that in itself, helps me embrace both the good and the moments that take a little more insight to accept.

Create a positive vision board or personal journal – Positive thought needs to be backed up with positive action. During quiet times I like to write down in a journal what I want to achieve in my life or where I see myself in the next 12 months. This applies to personal goals, emotional well-being, career path and family life. For me, writing it down actually reinforces it my mind. I am putting out to the universe through my thoughts and actions, of where I want my life to be heading. In my office I have a vision board, on it I have pinned various photographs, magazine cuttings and sentences or words. Each give me inspiration every time I look at them, reminding me of the things that make me happy and keep me motivated. I change it every 6-12 months.

Embrace the silence – In the west in general, we find it exceptionally difficult to embrace silence. To simply be present in pure wholeness, with no noise, no distractions and no interruptions that are constantly demanding our attention. To just simply sit, and be comfortable with the healing light of ‘nothingness’, is actually one of the most positive actions you can honour yourself with, every day. Stillness forces us to be comfortable with ourselves in our truest form. It enables us to be present in the moment, with everything else stripped away, things that usually pull us in every direction. Stillness, invites you to truly discover yourself, including your thought patterns and subsequent emotions. If you find silence too overwhelming to begin with, you may find your mind chattering away too much (which is fine by the way), then try listening to a short 10 minute meditation for positive thought. There are many on Youtube, or various mindfulness websites. Try and do this at least twice a day, preferably in the morning and in the evening. Learning techniques that will help you to tap into your deeper nature and explore the reasons behind your thoughts, will help you to gradually view them in a more productive light.                     

If you have enjoyed this post you may also enjoy ’11 things to give up to step closer to happiness’. 

5 ways to inspire others

inspire“Success isn’t about what you accomplish in your life, it’s about what you inspire others to do” – Unknown

When I was 20 years of age, I worked at Scotland Yard for the Metropolitan Police.  One of my first job roles was to answer 999 emergency calls. It was a fast paced, interesting and very demanding job. I loved it.  After a few years of answering the 999 calls, I progressed onto the role of radio dispatcher, deploying the police emergency response vehicles to the scenes of serious incidents. It involved a great deal of training, focus, and if I am honest, in the initial stages, a lot fear.

I remember, before my official training started, I had a few days of ‘live shadowing’ with a very experienced police officer. I  basically spent hours listening and watching, how he directed, controlled and deployed police units all over London, sometimes to really serious and distressing incidents.  Bob was a policemen in his 50’s. He was clearly passionate,  kind, funny, knowledgeable and exceptionally skilled at what he did. No matter how urgent, demanding or dangerous an incident was, he always remained calm, focused, authoritative and in control. His peers in the control room, quite obviously respected him, and the units on the ground, whom he spoke to over the radio, clearly trusted his directions and support.  He must have looked upon me as this young, inexperienced rookie. Naive and a somewhat clueless, yet he spoke with such enthusiasm, interest and character, I was absolutely fascinated by him. He told me stories of his early days in the job, when he had been a similar age to me, and he spoke with interest about the role he now had.  Most of all, I noted how he was dignified, always speaking without ego.  I can remember leaving work on the last day we had spent together, feeling completely inspired by him. One day I wanted to be like Bob.

Nearly twenty years on, just this week, my spa was named in the top 10 most Inspirational Spa’s in the UK and Ireland by Professional Beauty magazine, one of the leading governing bodies for the industry.  We had been voted for by other industry professionals and spa owners. On hearing the news via Twitter, I sat in my office, utterly delighted and also truly humbled.  It is an incredible feeling to be told, that what you do, actually inspires others. As I reflected on the news,  I also found myself remembering Bob, my own inspiration.

Be true to your passion – in truth, we can all be Bob, we just need to tap into our passion and then share that passion with the world, in a way that ignites the same passion within someone else. What is it that you truly love? What is the one subject that makes the fire within your heart roar? Do you want to raise money for a charity? Do you want to inspire others to get fit, or eat more healthily? Do you simple wish to share the joy you find in your hobby, or are you passionate about others find their own talents and gifts?  Whatever it is, embrace it with vigor and enthusiasm and then think about how to can share that passion with the world.

Share your story openly and honestly – People like to hear stories that are spoken in truth. A few months ago I shared an honest account of how I developed my business to what it is today. I spoke of the times I have experienced periods of utter joy, but also the periods of utter desperation and despair. Inspiring people isn’t simply about sharing all your good experiences, it’s also about sharing the more difficult periods of your life. The challenges you have managed to overcome and tackled head on, no matter how hard they may have been at the time.

Have a deep desire to help others progress positively – I find great pleasure in helping people overcome their own fears. Watching someone grow, by having the courage to do things they may have felt were in fact out of their reach or even impossible, proves as inspiring to me as it is for them. When you genuinely possess a desire to help others live a more positive life, magical things can happen, for you both.

Remain humble and speak without ego – No matter how successful you may be, it is always wise to remember from where you once came.  Take time to remember your own journey, how it was to walk up the mountain and then look back down. It is always a good way to keep your ego in check. The more you speak without ego and remain grounded, the more people will warm and relate to you.  Lets face it, nobody likes a know it all.

Remember your journey is a continuous one – Everyone of us will continue to grow and learn, through our experiences and challenges. A continuous learning cycle until we leave this earth plane. Inspiring others, is also about embracing your own journey through life. Remind yourself that the learning never ceases, be mindful to walk your path with an open heart and a kind mind. When you do this,  you will continue to attract your own inspiration from others.  And so the cycle to continues.

10 Mindful Tips On Being a Great Boss.

keep-calm-and-lead-the-way“To become truly great, one has to stand with people not above them” – 

When I first became a manager at the tender age of eighteen, I found the whole experiencing very exciting but also extremely daunting. What I lacked in life experience I certainly made up for with enthusiasm, and as I grew and improved as a person, so did my managerial skills.

For some,  leadership comes very naturally but for others it proves to be quite challenging.  Over the past 20 years of being in a managerial role of some form or another,I have done some things well and others not so well. The stress of meeting targets, working very long hours, having responsibilities and managing staff with an array of different personalities, strengths and weakness, can often prove exhausting but also very exhilarating. The biggest lesson I have learned over the years, is that a good manager always continue to keep learning themselves. It doesn’t matter how many years experience you have, things will continue to be sent your way to teach you and help you hone your leadership skills even more.

For me, a good leader should be knowledgeable at their skill, confident, a fantastic communicator, hardworking and above all, they should be kind, compassionate and supportive of their team. As a leader you set the example to your staff, respect should be gained through your interaction with your colleagues, not simply through the job title you hold.

Always be mindful of the fact that being skilled and knowledgeable at your trade, doesn’t automatically make you a good manager – I am very lucky in the fact that in my job role I get invited into other people’s beauty businesses, to asses and offer advice on how to improve the business’s performance as a whole.  One of the first things I always do is assess how strong a manager the business owner is.  In our careers we have all been managed by some good leaders, one’s that have inspired us and made us want to work harder simply through our respect for them. And then there have been others that we have considered to be weak leaders, or aggressive and domineering, or just plan lazy and uninterested in what we do or what we have to offer.  Yes, of course good managers should be good at what they do on a technical level, but managing a business or team, goes so much further than that.  Once we acknowledge and accept this is an integral part of how we perform on a managerial level, we can begin to start looking honestly at our own strengths and weaknesses and see where we can improve and learn from them.

Acknowledge the fact your business is as much about your staff as it is about you – The more we focus on helping our staff grow and develop, the more we grow and develop alongside them. It’s very easy to get bogged down with what we want to achieve in our  own career path and in our own business, that sometimes we forget, as managers, part of our role is to actually help others grow and progress too.

Always be truly present – it’s so easy to get distracted with all the responsibilities a managerial role entails. We have emails to answer, phone calls to take, business meetings to attend, targets to reach and clients to see.  Ensure you take regular moments out throughout the day to remind yourself to be truly present. For me, I like to get outside in my lunch break and sit by the local river near my spa. I take time to focus on my breathing and tune in to the sounds of nature around me. This helps to keep me grounded, connected and truly present.

Find out what motivates your staff – People are motivated by very different things. For some its money, a good financial reward or goal will keep them happily plodding along each day, working at their best. For others it could be recognition, or their own personal career development. Some may find motivation by being given responsibility or even having the opportunity to teach others.  Don’t assume that everybody is motivated by the same things as you.  Once you have discovered what motivates each and every member of your team, you can then set tasks, goals and rewards to keep everyone working towards something that is actually important to them.

Always be kind and compassionate – This may sound like the obvious, but at times, some find that remaining calm and compassionate in challenging situations at work, can actually be very difficult. As a manager, you will no doubt sometimes come across staff who you may deem as being difficult or challenging.  How many of us have seen those hot-headed type bosses, the ones that raise their voices a lot, and feel like there is nothing wrong in being openly irritated in certain people’s company?  When ever you find yourself in a challenging situation, remind yourself you should be setting an example to other members of your team.  Take a moment to step back from the situation and view it from all angles. Why does this staff member behave like he or she does?  Is it a regular occurrence or fairly rare?  How will your handling of the situation affect everyone else in the office? Easier said than done sometimes I know. But possessing the ability to always be calm, collected and compassionate, no matter what is thrown at you, is a great attribute to bring to the table.

Don’t take the actions and wants of others too personally – When I first started out as a manager, this was something I found really hard not to do. I wanted everyone to be as passionate and enthusiastic as I was. I longed to create a working environment for my colleges that would help them want to achieve the best they could in the company, and help obtain the same motivation and drive that I had. Obviously, this would often leave me feeling frustrated and disappointed.  The fact is a good manager has to be respectful of the fact that everyone is on a different journey and everyone has different goals, motivations and ambitions to where their life should be going.  As a business owner, it can be difficult to see staff come and go, especially when you feel you have worked so hard to create something that you think is truly special and you believe to treat your staff well.  But life is life, things and circumstances change, and what once suited your employee’s one day, may actually change the next.  I always tell my staff the same thing, that they will be with me as long as we still both need to learn something from one another, and we can continue to grow from that knowledge and our relationship.  And at the time someone decides they want to leave my spa, I will wholeheartedly respect and support their decision, because it is obviously the right decision for them and it is at that point, our mutual lesson has been learned.

Be aware of your personal energy – Happy, enthusiastic and joyful leaders, in general, promote the same kind of feelings of happiness and joyousness to their staff.  How hard is it to be grumpy and unmotivated by someone who can continually make you smile or even laugh?  It’s in our nature to want to seek and experience happiness, it is a natural human desire.  So every time you walk into your office or working environment, no matter what is going on in your personal life, try to exude the same positive, happy attitude you would love your staff to reflect back at you.

Always make time to listen to your staff – Many of my staff have been with me for years and no matter how well I think I know them, I always schedule in personal one on one time throughout the year, to give them the opportunity to simply talk to me and for me to simply listen. It may be in my office, over coffee or lunch, or even in the pub (if they are lucky enough!). Letting your staff know you have time for them, and that you truly do care about their happiness within the work place, goes a long way. It’s simple, happy staff are more productive and more loyal staff.

Give praise when praise is due – When my staff have done well, or have gone above and beyond the call of duty, I will always ensure it is acknowledged and let them know that I am grateful for it. It may be a simple thank you suffices, or a small gesture like a box of chocolates or bottle of wine shows an extra element of appreciation.  We are now in an age, where too many people are working longer hours, with more responsibilities and are receiving very little thanks in return. The global recession has left many  people fearful of losing their jobs, and it has most definitely increased the pressures that we have all experienced at some time in our working careers.  It doesn’t take much to let your staff know you have taken on board how hard they are working, or that you have noticed that they have stayed late a few nights to get a job done.  People need to know when their efforts have been noted, a heartfelt thank you can mean a lot to someone sometimes.

Be the inspiration – Great leaders inspire people. Be passionate, be ethical and be kind.  Share your knowledge to the best of your ability and have a deep-rooted desire to help everyone that wants your help, to be the best they possibly can in life. A great leader teaches the pupil, with the hope that one day, that pupil will go out and far surpass everything he has been taught. Support, motivate, encourage and then sit back and with joy, watch them spread their wings.

8 Holistic Mood Boosting Tips

happiness-quotes“Happiness is not something ready made, it comes from your own actions” – Dalai Lama 

Happiness is something we all seek, an inner warmth that ignites from deep within our soul and radiates out around us.   When we are happy, we see the world as a loving and vibrant place, but when we find ourselves in a space or cycle that brings feelings of discontent, the world suddenly becomes cold and cruel. The fact is we are soley in control of our own happiness, much of how we view our own inner peace and our role within this world is created within our own minds. I wrote a blog post last year ’11 Things To Give Up To Step Closer To Happiness’ which tackles this issue.  But there are also many physical things we can do, which will help boost our mental happy juices.

Start your day with positive thought –  It’s very easy to lay there in bed, mentally grumbling away at the alarm, wishing you could just smuggle a few more moments under a warm cosy duvet.  But occasionally, it’s really helpful to set the alarm just 10 minutes earlier than normal and take this time to really be present.  Spend a few moments  feeling your body waking up, take several deep cleansing breaths, stretch out your arms and legs, and listen to the sounds around you with deep concentration.  Really see the daylight in all it’s beauty and mentally tell yourself, that you that you are going to have a really productive, meaningful and enjoyable day, making sure you radiate kindness and compassion to everyone you meet.  Some times we have to physically take the time out to remind ourselves that our life is very precious, and no matter what is going on around us, we should be thankful that we have it.

Pack your day with serotonin boosting foods –  Without a shadow of a doubt our body can only function properly when we treat it with kindness. I see many clients in my spa who seek various healing treatments due to suffering conditions like depression and anxiety. One of the first questions I always ask them is about their diet. The foods we eat have a direct impact on how much energy and vitality we have. 90% of the happy hormone serotonin, is actually produced in the gut, not the brain as many people think. It is then chiefly metabolised by the liver. So in short, if we aren’t feeding our body with the kind of foods that support the production of this hugely important hormone, how can we expect to always feel balanced and content?  Some of the best serotonin boosting foods are nuts and seeds, Omega 3 fatty acids, avocados, eggs, chickpeas, leafy green vegetables, bananas, apples, butternut squash, spelt, barley, brown rice and dark chocolate.            

 Infuse mood boosting Essential Oils in your house or work place – I’m always burning essential oils in my home, office and treatment room. Smell is the strongest of the senses and is best able to influence brain activity. Olfactory bulbs are part of the limbic system and directly connect to the areas of the brain that process emotion and learning. Inhaling essential oils activates the hypothalamus, the area of the brain which sends messages to other parts of the body. The simple inhalation of certain oils can actually make changes in the body, including activating the immune system, affecting blood pressure and stimulating digestion.  Some of the most effective mood boosting essential oils are lemon, lavender, jasmine, rosemary, cinnamon, grapefruit, ginger, bergamot and peppermint.  Just place a few drops of your chosen oils in a oil burner and mix with some warm water, or if you don’t have one, just fill a bowl with some hot water and add the oils to that.

Keep hydrated – I can’t stress enough how important it is to keep yourself hydrated.  Our bodies are made up of anything from 60%-75% water, every muscle and cell needs fluids to function properly. Even the mildest of dehydration can make you feel lethargic and tired.  A doctor once told me, if you feel thirsty your body is in fact already dehydrated.  Try and sip filtered or fresh spring water throughout your day to help support your body’s need for it.

Try drinking green tea – Green tea contains an amino acid called theanine that may affect secretion of serotonin and other neurotransmitters, including the calming neurotransmitter GABA and the activating neurotransmitters dopamine, epinephrine and norepinephrine. It also packed full of antioxidants, so is good for the skin too.

Try adding some mood enhancing crystals to your home – Obviously as an energy worker I am open to the positive effects that crystals can have in our homes and offices. Crystals have an energetic vibration, just as we do, and incorporating that vibration into our living or work space, can often bring us benefits.  I always have points of Rose Quartz ( Rose Quartz has high energy, but its vibration is also calming and soothing. It opens the heart to compassion for self and for others. Rose Quartz also helps balance the emotions, lowering stress and bringing peace), Moonstone (soothes, relieve stress and banishes negativity), Amethyst (heals negativity in the home) and Green Adventurine (a stone of luck, abundance, and positive energy) in various rooms in my house.  I am also a huge lover of Clear Quartz, which is deemed as the master healer of crystals.

Try listening to some music to help balance the Chakra’s – According to ancient Tantric and yogic tradtions, Chakra’s (Sanskrit) are seven energy centres that serve as junction points between the physical body and consciousness. These energy centres help receive, process and express our vital Chi/Ki/life force energy and enable it to flow freely through the physical and spiritual body.  When any one of these Chakras become blocked due to stress, emotions or our life experiences, we may develop physical complaints or illnesses, or we may find ourselves feeling emotionally unbalanced and out of sorts. In certain traditions each Chakra also has a corresponding mantra and sound vibration. There are many different ways to help support these vital energy centres, but one simple way is to listen to some music which resonates with the sound vibration of each centre. One of my favourite pieces of music to do this is by the renowned international spiritual tutor Deepak Chopra.  This CD is uber relaxing, easy to listen to and at the end of the CD Deepak explains a little bit about each Chakra and how they correspond with how we interact with the world around us, both on a physical and emotional level.

Walk in bare feet or lay on the grass – recently I have been reading about the scientific studies around ‘Earthing’.  Earthing is the practice of connecting the body with earth by touching skin to a conductive material such as grass (preferably wet), wet sand, a river, lake or sea.  Apparently when we haven’t directly connected to the earths natural electrical vibration for a period of time, our bodies carry a positive voltage in relation to the earth, which makes it harder for our bodies to tackle free radical damage. Free radicals are unstable oxygen molecules within the body, which lack electrons (energy sparks), although our bodies do need free radicals, too many of them can cause disease and are also known to accelerate the ageing process.  So if the human body has a positive charge on it, reconnecting to the earth allows the earths electrons to flow into our system, and in theory, they can neutralise overblown free radical and inflammatory damage. So not only is connecting with nature exceptionally relaxing, which in turn boosts the feelings of well being, there are now scientific studies to support the fact that connecting with our planet, also helps fight disease.  An English medical Doctor by the name of Dr Biffa has written a very honest piece about Earthing and the studies surrounding it.

10 Tips on Healing – A Holistic Healers Approach

healing 1“The pain you feel today, is the strength you feel tomorrow” – unknown 

Healing is a very personal process,  acknowledging that we are wholeheartedly in control of our own individual healing journey can be a frightening and difficult concept to grasp, especially if we have undergone something quite traumatic and sad. In time however, If we are able to do this, we are often in a better position to regain a little control and understanding of this deep process.   Healing starts from our thoughts, actions and how we honour our own needs during times of pain.

As a qualified healer and spa owner, I welcome people onto my treatment couch daily, many of whom are amidst their own personal turmoil and walking tenderly on their own healing journey.  Every time, without fail, I want to make things better for them. But one of the most important lesson I learned early on in my career, is that, as a healer you have to accept and honour the fact that you cannot control someone’s own healing process, you cannot heal them, they have to walk the healing path themselves. Each individual will heal when they are good and ready to, and when they have learned what ever it is they needed to through the whole experience they have faced. All you can do is support them during the time they are in your treatment room. Providing them with a safe and secure space to relax, breathe and maybe let go a little.

I like any other person, I have undergone periods of deep healing. I have been the victim of  domestic violence in a dark controlled relationship, lost loved ones to terminal illnesses and had moments in my life, where I have truly struggled to regain just some element of normality.  When I look back I realise I needed to experience such deep, uncontrollable pain, to enable me to empathise with others, in my new healing role. I believe a healer that has walked a deeply healing path themselves, is one that can share elements of wisdom that they have gained from their own healing process.

Do not force the healing process, healing takes time – Healing is a deeply personal experience, every person and every event is different. Do not rush your healing journey, it doesn’t matter if it takes weeks, months or years. Only you will know when you have truly healed, and only you can decide when this happens.   When we are consumed with fear and worry, we tend to run scenarios in our heads of how life is going to turn out. This actually just increases our fear and worry. Try and take each hour and day as it comes, live fully in the present moment, not the past or the future. When we successfully manage to get through that hour, and then that day, slowly little by little, we can start to release some of the pressure and control that we are unwillingly placing on ourselves. Healing takes time, honour that process wholeheartedly by taking baby steps every day.

Embrace the pain, do not fight it – to really work through something we need to feel it fully. Breaking down into a sobbing bundle of tears, is sometimes what we need to do to work through our feelings of sadness and grief. I remember when I lost a dear loved one three years ago, I literally walked around in a blur of sadness and tears for weeks afterwards. I honestly felt completely numb, like a part of me had actually died with that person. I couldn’t function properly at’ll, it was as if I was on auto pilot, and I didn’t care about anything in this world apart from this huge hole that was suddenly in my heart. People told me that in time it would get better, but I didn’t want to hear that, I didn’t think they could possibly know how I was feeling. Of course in time it did get better, but I needed to fully feel the pain I was experiencing for myself, I needed to allow every inch of my mind and body to wallow deep within it’s sadness, to finally enable me to work through it, slowly one day at a time.

Bathe in or diffuse essential oils in your home – as a holistic healer, I have had the pleasure of witnessing over the past 15 years, the incredible power that essential oils can play during someone’s healing process. Many scientific studies have now proven that essential oils can actually make both emotional and biological changes to the human body.  Essential oils can effect brain chemicals, which in turn can promote feelings of peace and relaxation.    I have actually recently devised a skincare range (which is launching later this year), that has been 100% inspired by my clients, people I have had the pleasure of supporting through their own healing process.  My favourite oils to use to enhance relaxation and promote feelings of calm are Vetiver, lavender, geranium, jasmine, orange, benzoin and bergamot. (Please always check you are able to use any of these oils topically prior to use).  You can purchase many pre blended bath oils too, I love Aromatherapy Associates range.

Quieten the mind to allow the body to start to heal – Meditation is a hugely powerful tool when it comes to supporting your own healing process. When our mind is a whirlwind of turmoil and sadness, we are constantly preventing our physical body from slipping into repair and renewal mode. Try and allow yourself just 10 mins of ‘quite time’ every morning and evening. Many studies have shown that meditation actually helps treat depression and anxiety, as well as boosting your immune system.

Get out amongst nature, particularly trees! – Nature cleanses our aura and helps to balance our own harmonic energy field . Taking ourselves outside amongst trees, grass, foliage and nature provides us with a sense of oneness and can instantly promote feelings of calm and healing.  I live right near Greenwich Park, and despite my busy schedule I always try to make sure I have periods of time in the park throughout my week. I personally find it refreshing, calming and it really does give me a sense of reconnection during times of uncertainty.

Affirmations and positive thought – Some of my clients have found the use of affirmations particularly helpful during times of stress.  When I first bought my spa, and we thought we were about to lose everything due to the economic turn-down, including the business and our home,I had a little sign that I put in my office that read “My income is constantly increasing”. Despite how bad it got (sleepless nights on a friends floor as I couldn’t afford the petrol costs to get me home), every time I read that sign it gave me a point of focus and hope.  It drew my sometimes negative mind, back to something positive and gave me a sense of direction.  I also found this scroll written by the Dalai Lama in a shop during the same period it my life (see picture below), it still hangs in my office to this day. A constant reminder that life can be a struggle, but we should never give up.   Occasionally turning our mind to a positive thought, even for just a moment, can help give us a little hope and clarity on our onward journey.

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Tap into the healing power of music – This is something that purely works for me, so I wished to share it in case it works for someone else.  I find music deeply healing.  Sometimes, when I am overcome with grief, doubt or sadness I will listen to some classical, or deeply moving music. I become completely engulfed in everything about it, every note and every chord.  I am still, I am quiet and I just simply listen, allowing the thoughts to come and go in perfect synergy with the piece I am at one with.  It maybe that upbeat music works for you in this way, give it a go and see if you experience any emotional connection or benefit.

Go and book a massage – Massage is clinically proven to reduce the stress hormone cortisol, and increase the mood enhancing hormone serotonin, it also lowers blood pressure and induces a deep sense of relaxation. Many massage therapists are also natural healers, much like some nurses. In my experience, the aura’s of massage therapists are often various shades of blue and turquoise, a healing shade. If you have never had a massage before, ask around for a good, reputable therapist and go and get a treatment booked. Massage is a fantastic way to treat depression and anxiety, and many of my clients over the years have found it exceptionally beneficial to experience a treatment during times of stress.   When cortisol levels are lowered in our bodies, we are able to repair and renew more effectively.

Tap into the healing energy of crystals – As a holistic healer, I am open to the healing benefits of many things, yoga, therapies, food, meditation and also crystals, to name just a few.  It is my belief that everything is energy, and therefore crystals have their own harmonic frequency, just as we do. Many crystals vibrate with a healing energy. There are some fantastic online crystal stores out there, or you can go and visit a qualified crystal healer.  It’s believed when certain crystals are placed on various corresponding points of the body or Chakras, (the energy centres of the body), they in turn can promote a deep sense of healing and overall balance.  This is now a widely accepted therapy found in many high street and larger corporate spas around the world.

Be safe in the knowledge you grow from every negative experience – In my twenties I used to often take the ‘why me’ approach to the challenges of life. Further along my own spiritual journey, now in my late thirties, I no longer have that out look on life. Life is simply that, life. From the day we are born, we aren’t given any guarantees that we won’t ever experience pain, loss or unhappiness. In fact, lets be honest,  it is more of a guarantee that you will experience all of these things at some point on this earth. We all do, every single one of us.  Now instead, with every challenge or period of sadness sent my way, I have been taught by my own spiritual tutor, to go inward, to explore those feelings deeply and thoroughly, and live in the knowledge that in time, through the tears, frustration and unhappiness, I will gain a new wisdom and an inner strength, that maybe in time, will possibly help someone else along their own healing path.

12 Tips On Letting Go Of Love

letting-go-quotes-13“Sometimes love means letting go, when you want to hold on tighter” – unknown

Learning to let go of someone we love can be one of the most difficult and challenging experiences we may face in life, especially if we believe that person is our soul mate.  It can send us into a spiral of different emotions, ones of pain, grief, frustration and unhappiness.  Sometimes it is even harder to accept that someone doesn’t love you as you love them, or that they have decided their life would be a happier place without you in it.  The most challenging thing we need to remember, is that we should never lose ourself, just because someone is prepared to you lose us. Life will never be simple, and learning to love even when the outcome may not be what we had hoped for, is simply another lesson for us to embrace, learn and grow from.

1. Accept and embrace the moment fully – Feeling and accepting pain is hard, but to truly work through something we have to feel it fully. Don’t fight it, the more we try to fight and stifle our emotions, the more we can unintentionally prolong our feelings of negativity and sadness, this in turn can cause us much unnecessary stress. Suppressing grief and anxiety can also eventually start to manifest in our physical bodies and in time, this can in fact make us quiet poorly.

2. Don’t continue to dwell on ‘what might have been’ – simply because it isn’t. You are not serving yourself well, the more you play scenarios in your head about how a relationship may have turned out. Remind yourself you are no longer with that person for a reason, and continuing to romanticize about something from the past, is preventing you from living in the present moment.

3. Remind yourself how awesome you were before the relationship – a breakup can often leave you with feelings of self-doubt and insecurities.  Take a moment to remind yourself of the person you were before the relationship occurred. This can help refocus your attention to the positive things, about you and your newly single identity.

4.Don’t compare yourself to someone else – If your relationship has ended because your partner has found someone new, refrain yourself from making comparisons to that person. You may believe you are a better person, a kinder person, a funnier person, or a more suitable partner, but constantly making comparisons to someone else, someone who your ex is now happier with, will only leave you with feelings of frustration, anger and sadness. Stop trying to walk in your ex’s shoes, remind yourself their life isn’t yours to control.

5.Allow the tears to flow – Crying is an integral part of the healing process, it releases feelings of fear, unhappiness and grief. Don’t be angry at yourself for wanting to have a good sob. Embrace the feelings of sadness, and ride gently on the waves of your tears.

6.Be safe in the knowledge you will experience love again – When we lose someone we loved with all our heart and soul, often we are overwhelmed with the fear we will never love again. When these negative thoughts engulf you go and sit somewhere quietly and write in a journal everything you know that is good and positive about yourself. Do you think you are a kind person, hard-working, understanding and compassionate?  You can try calling a friend to see if they can help you out, if you find it a hard task to do on your own.  Switching our focus to our positive qualities, can in turn help negative feelings into more hopeful ones.  Everyone has unique and beautiful qualities, we sometimes just need to take the time to remind ourselves of our own.

7.Identify what the relationship taught you – this can be hard to do early on, but once we have had a little time to heal, often we can look back on a relationship and see what that union taught us. I strongly believe everyone we come into contact with in our life time has been sent to teach us something, and in turn in some way they will help our soul grow. Years a go, I was in a very controlling and negative relationship. My partner at the time was a very insecure and aggressive man.  Years on I can now look back and see that relationship taught me patience, how insecurities can effect others and how I should only be in relationships that serve me well, because I deserve nothing less. At the time, it was a very painful experience, but now I realise it had great value to the person I am now, and also how I now treat others.

8.Don’t cling on to something you didn’t own in the first place – We experience love, but we do not own it. People fall in and out of love all the time, sometimes we change or our partner changes. Sometimes our circumstances alter and this affects how we feel. It may be we still love one another, but in life we want different things. Love is a wonderful emotion, it is the foundation of our soul, but remind yourself love isn’t ours to own like a nice car or a big house, it isn’t a possession. Love comes and goes as it pleases, it cannot be forced or locked away so it can never escape.  Don’t turn love into an attachment, embrace it wholeheartedly when it’s appears, but also let it go freely when it asks to leave.

9. Don’t view your entire identity on being loved – You are you, in your truest form. You don’t need to be in a relationship to have your own identity. Being in a relationship doesn’t make you who you are. Remind yourself of this every time you start to feel negative or sad about being on your own.  Once we let go of the notion we need a partner to make us whole, being on our own becomes a little easier. You are complete simply as you are, just as you were the day you were born.

10.Create and embrace your single identity – Start to empower your single status. Go to the gym to feel good about yourself. Spend quality time with your friends and family. Delete any emails or texts from your ex and stop stalking them on social media sites, just to see what they are ‘up to’. The less time you spend in the past, the more room you give to your future.

11. Do not have regrets – You cannot change your past. So stop living like you can. Regrets never serve you well, we don’t have the option to turn back time and do things differently, we can only learn from our past experiences and move on from them.

12. Acknowledge the experience and bless them on their journey – even if a break up has been a very painful one, after a period of healing, I always take the time to meditate and explore what the relationship taught me. I then visualise that person in my mind, I surround them with love and bless them wholeheartedly on their journey. They may have only been with me a while, and at times it may not have been a very beneficial relationship (after all we broke up for a reason), but for me it’s a point of closure.  We served each other in what ever way we needed to at the time, and taking a moment to acknowledge, honour and respect that fact, helps me process the experience and move on from it.