Learning to walk in love not fear.

Everything we do, say or feel is driven by love or by fear. When you become consciously mindful of how your actions and reactions impact others feelings and happiness, you can begin to c

As human beings everything we do, say and feel is driven by love or by fear.  Every single day our actions and reactions are impacted by these two powerful emotions, and more often than not we aren’t even aware of it.

Acting out of  fear will in fact cause us further frustration, upset and unhappiness. But when we consciously choose to come from a place of love, no matter the challenge we are facing, life flows more freely.

How often do we over think things and start to imagine certain negative outcomes to situations we are currently experiencing?  We tend to live our lives so much in the future, in a world of what ifs, rather than choosing to remain in the present.  We over analyse people’s actions, words and opinions, and often take things too personally in the process. When this happens we are sitting in the space of our fears.

When I was in my early twenties I briefly dated a guy who seemed incredibly charming, charismatic, open and warm.  He made me laugh and I enjoyed the time that we spent together.  We would message one-another regularly and enjoyed several dates. He was very open with his feelings about me, speaking about our future together and everything seemed to be going so well.  Then one day, out of the blue he just stopped contacting me. No explanation, no reasoning, just no more contact.  If I messaged him, his replies were brief, almost cold and there was always some reason or another as to why he couldn’t meet up.  The whole experience left me feeling incredibly confused, unhappy and in truth quite hurt.  Because of this unconsciously and without wanting to, I stepped in to a place of fear. I started feeling unworthy of his attention and affection, and my mind would run away with me regarding all the reasons why he had obviously made a choice to simply avoid me. Maybe I wasn’t pretty enough, or funny enough? Or maybe he had met someone who he found intellectually more stimulating, or attractive?  Wrongly, I wholeheartedly viewed his actions as a direct reflection of me as a person, when in fact his actions were a direct reflection of him.

A few days after the last message I sent, one that he simply ignored, I began to acknowledge that I was allowing the whole situation to have a significant negative impact on my thoughts and also my life. I wasn’t sleeping well and I was emotionally exhausted.  So one morning, after my yoga practice I chose to consciously step into a place of complete acceptance and peace. I invited myself to bring all of my mindfulness practice into play and began to view the whole experience with a more open heart.  As soon as I did this, I allowed myself to look at the situation with a greater sense of softness and deeper understanding.  Over time the shift in my thought processes slowly enabled my feelings to change. I transitioned from a place of fear into a place of love. Rather than judging my friend for acting in a way that I had initially viewed as insensitive and unkind, I began to accept that he was probably just acting in the only manner he felt he was able to at that time. For whatever reason he wasn’t comfortable enough to just be open and honest with the whole situation, and he certainly wasn’t able to be honest with me. Initially I had judged him for not acting in a way that I would have done had I been in his shoes. I hoped that had I been in the same situation myself, I would have been honest enough to explain why I no longer wanted to see my friend. I would have considered their feelings as well as my own, and explained my reasons in the kindest and gentlest way possible.  But when we begin to judge peoples actions on the way we conduct  our own lives, we are in fact acting out of ego and not from a deeper sense of compassion.  I chose to instead to think that maybe he hadn’t even considered how his actions could have been impacting my self-esteem or sense of happiness, or if he had, then he just didn’t know how to approach the situation with me, and that was fine. Due to his own sense of fear, a fear of my reaction or non-acceptance of his feelings it was easier for him just to blank me and hide away. And in doing so he was actually protecting himself from having to face any kind of awkward conversation, one that would no doubt be very uncomfortable for him.

On reflection I realised that if I looked at everything from a higher perspective, all of this was in fact o.k.  Not all of us are always able to tackle our life experiences with a sense of courage, gentleness and compassion, and not everyone is comfortable with speaking from a place of truth.  I acknowledged, that deep down all I really wanted was for my friend to be happy and if that meant he would be happier without me, that was how it needed to be.  The end result was still the same, and that was all that mattered to me.  That night I meditated on the whole situation and I sent my friend the deepest sense of love that I possibly could muster up. Within my heart I wished for his onward path to be bright and blessed, and hoped that one day he would find the one who would make his soul shine. And then, with a deep sense of relief, I simply let it all go.

Each and every one of us approach both life and it’s challenges differently, that doesn’t make any one of us better than another, it’s simply means we either view our experiences from place of love or a place of fear.

When you can choose love, life becomes a little easier, a little happier and so much fuller.  Love will always send you back into the truest essence of yourself, you become more understanding, more compassionate and in truth, you become more you.



The Founder of Beautifully Zen


I have recently received a few emails about what it is I do as a therapist, so I thought I would share this short video about my day job from my website. It features some feedback from those I have been gifted to share my treatment room with and gives those of you who that have asked, a feel of what it is I actually do. I am based in the UK in London and Kent.


The Birth Of Beautifully Zen

Three years ago I launched myself into the scary world of  self employment with one huge enthusiastic leap.  My vision was clear, to create a sacred space for people to relax, destress and re-connect.  A year before,  my husband (then 38) suffered a massive heart attack.  A fluke thrombosis in his coronary artery that saw him in hospital for 11 days with intense one on one nursing care.  It was the most devastating and scary experience I have ever encountered.   An experience that change my direction in life entirely, life really is too short.

So after thirteen stable years of employment with the Metropolitan Police, and my desire to have a job that would help enable my husband to stop working shifts,  I purchased an exceptionally run down beauty business, in a pretty quaint town in Kent.   The sale wiped out every penny I had ever saved, but we were confident with my experience as a therapist and in management (I had trained whilst in the police), coupled with my  my overwhelming desire to make a go of it, we would be o.k.

Three months after acquisition the worst global recession struck the planet.  To add to this stress we discovered the lady I had purchased the business from was far from honest with her ‘accounts’ and the staff we had inherited could only be described as ‘challenging’. Very swiftly reality kicked in, like a blow to the stomach that makes your knees buckle.   Every ounce of success we had envisaged for my business and our new found ‘calmer lifestyle’ suddenly seemed beyond our grasp.

My working week began to average 80 hours and every waking moment was consumed with ideas of how to simply survive.  I wasn’t sleeping as I was stressed to the hilt and every penny earned simply went straight back into the business.   I was the poorest I had ever been, and I was angry that we had been so naive to believe everyone was a ethical and honest as we tried to be.   To add to my frustration I was also totally and utterly exhausted.   Life suddenly wasn’t fun.

Looking back now, I am surprised I didn’t end up at my doctors sobbing into a tatty old hanky pleading for some magic wand to be waved that would miraciously  ‘make everything alright’.

Three years on, and only through my sheer hard work and determination, I have managed to totally turn the business around.  The same business that we estimate was in fact losing thousands when it entered our world.

Is it still challenging?     Yes of course it is, but the light at the end of the tunnel is definately closer.

I have always believed every single challenge sent our way, is sent to teach us a valuable lesson.  My business journey sent me,  into a space I had only explored briefly in my adulthood.  I found myself vulnerable and whole heartedly exposed.   What I failed to acknowledge at the time, was in order for me  regain peace within my soul, I needed to learn to let go of the all familiar human condition of desiring to control every outcome in life.

For a brief two years I completely forgot to connect, I let the importance of my business consume my every atom.  I didn’t have time to meditate, in fact I didn’t have time to do anything.  Time with my husband was few and far between and when we were together we were either too stressed to have a rational conversation or too tired to speak.  My gym visits vanished, I rarely saw my friends as I couldn’t afford to go out and my life simply became a continuous blur of work and sleep.  In short, I completely forgot about me.

The whole experience brought me a barrage of lessons, but most importantly it taught me the value of never forgetting to ‘simply be,’ even when I’m living within the tornado of life, desperately clinging on to anything to help reground myself.

Beautifully Zen was born to share, muse and ramble about all things beautiful and good for the soul.  Beauty is my business, zen is my way.

I hope you may enjoy sharing some time here with me, and most of all I look forward to walking the journey with you.

Elizabeth xx