10 Tips on Healing – A Holistic Healers Approach

healing 1“The pain you feel today, is the strength you feel tomorrow” – unknown 

Healing is a very personal process,  acknowledging that we are wholeheartedly in control of our own individual healing journey can be a frightening and difficult concept to grasp, especially if we have undergone something quite traumatic and sad. In time however, If we are able to do this, we are often in a better position to regain a little control and understanding of this deep process.   Healing starts from our thoughts, actions and how we honour our own needs during times of pain.

As a qualified healer and spa owner, I welcome people onto my treatment couch daily, many of whom are amidst their own personal turmoil and walking tenderly on their own healing journey.  Every time, without fail, I want to make things better for them. But one of the most important lesson I learned early on in my career, is that, as a healer you have to accept and honour the fact that you cannot control someone’s own healing process, you cannot heal them, they have to walk the healing path themselves. Each individual will heal when they are good and ready to, and when they have learned what ever it is they needed to through the whole experience they have faced. All you can do is support them during the time they are in your treatment room. Providing them with a safe and secure space to relax, breathe and maybe let go a little.

I like any other person, I have undergone periods of deep healing. I have been the victim of  domestic violence in a dark controlled relationship, lost loved ones to terminal illnesses and had moments in my life, where I have truly struggled to regain just some element of normality.  When I look back I realise I needed to experience such deep, uncontrollable pain, to enable me to empathise with others, in my new healing role. I believe a healer that has walked a deeply healing path themselves, is one that can share elements of wisdom that they have gained from their own healing process.

Do not force the healing process, healing takes time – Healing is a deeply personal experience, every person and every event is different. Do not rush your healing journey, it doesn’t matter if it takes weeks, months or years. Only you will know when you have truly healed, and only you can decide when this happens.   When we are consumed with fear and worry, we tend to run scenarios in our heads of how life is going to turn out. This actually just increases our fear and worry. Try and take each hour and day as it comes, live fully in the present moment, not the past or the future. When we successfully manage to get through that hour, and then that day, slowly little by little, we can start to release some of the pressure and control that we are unwillingly placing on ourselves. Healing takes time, honour that process wholeheartedly by taking baby steps every day.

Embrace the pain, do not fight it – to really work through something we need to feel it fully. Breaking down into a sobbing bundle of tears, is sometimes what we need to do to work through our feelings of sadness and grief. I remember when I lost a dear loved one three years ago, I literally walked around in a blur of sadness and tears for weeks afterwards. I honestly felt completely numb, like a part of me had actually died with that person. I couldn’t function properly at’ll, it was as if I was on auto pilot, and I didn’t care about anything in this world apart from this huge hole that was suddenly in my heart. People told me that in time it would get better, but I didn’t want to hear that, I didn’t think they could possibly know how I was feeling. Of course in time it did get better, but I needed to fully feel the pain I was experiencing for myself, I needed to allow every inch of my mind and body to wallow deep within it’s sadness, to finally enable me to work through it, slowly one day at a time.

Bathe in or diffuse essential oils in your home – as a holistic healer, I have had the pleasure of witnessing over the past 15 years, the incredible power that essential oils can play during someone’s healing process. Many scientific studies have now proven that essential oils can actually make both emotional and biological changes to the human body.  Essential oils can effect brain chemicals, which in turn can promote feelings of peace and relaxation.    I have actually recently devised a skincare range (which is launching later this year), that has been 100% inspired by my clients, people I have had the pleasure of supporting through their own healing process.  My favourite oils to use to enhance relaxation and promote feelings of calm are Vetiver, lavender, geranium, jasmine, orange, benzoin and bergamot. (Please always check you are able to use any of these oils topically prior to use).  You can purchase many pre blended bath oils too, I love Aromatherapy Associates range.

Quieten the mind to allow the body to start to heal – Meditation is a hugely powerful tool when it comes to supporting your own healing process. When our mind is a whirlwind of turmoil and sadness, we are constantly preventing our physical body from slipping into repair and renewal mode. Try and allow yourself just 10 mins of ‘quite time’ every morning and evening. Many studies have shown that meditation actually helps treat depression and anxiety, as well as boosting your immune system.

Get out amongst nature, particularly trees! – Nature cleanses our aura and helps to balance our own harmonic energy field . Taking ourselves outside amongst trees, grass, foliage and nature provides us with a sense of oneness and can instantly promote feelings of calm and healing.  I live right near Greenwich Park, and despite my busy schedule I always try to make sure I have periods of time in the park throughout my week. I personally find it refreshing, calming and it really does give me a sense of reconnection during times of uncertainty.

Affirmations and positive thought – Some of my clients have found the use of affirmations particularly helpful during times of stress.  When I first bought my spa, and we thought we were about to lose everything due to the economic turn-down, including the business and our home,I had a little sign that I put in my office that read “My income is constantly increasing”. Despite how bad it got (sleepless nights on a friends floor as I couldn’t afford the petrol costs to get me home), every time I read that sign it gave me a point of focus and hope.  It drew my sometimes negative mind, back to something positive and gave me a sense of direction.  I also found this scroll written by the Dalai Lama in a shop during the same period it my life (see picture below), it still hangs in my office to this day. A constant reminder that life can be a struggle, but we should never give up.   Occasionally turning our mind to a positive thought, even for just a moment, can help give us a little hope and clarity on our onward journey.

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Tap into the healing power of music – This is something that purely works for me, so I wished to share it in case it works for someone else.  I find music deeply healing.  Sometimes, when I am overcome with grief, doubt or sadness I will listen to some classical, or deeply moving music. I become completely engulfed in everything about it, every note and every chord.  I am still, I am quiet and I just simply listen, allowing the thoughts to come and go in perfect synergy with the piece I am at one with.  It maybe that upbeat music works for you in this way, give it a go and see if you experience any emotional connection or benefit.

Go and book a massage – Massage is clinically proven to reduce the stress hormone cortisol, and increase the mood enhancing hormone serotonin, it also lowers blood pressure and induces a deep sense of relaxation. Many massage therapists are also natural healers, much like some nurses. In my experience, the aura’s of massage therapists are often various shades of blue and turquoise, a healing shade. If you have never had a massage before, ask around for a good, reputable therapist and go and get a treatment booked. Massage is a fantastic way to treat depression and anxiety, and many of my clients over the years have found it exceptionally beneficial to experience a treatment during times of stress.   When cortisol levels are lowered in our bodies, we are able to repair and renew more effectively.

Tap into the healing energy of crystals – As a holistic healer, I am open to the healing benefits of many things, yoga, therapies, food, meditation and also crystals, to name just a few.  It is my belief that everything is energy, and therefore crystals have their own harmonic frequency, just as we do. Many crystals vibrate with a healing energy. There are some fantastic online crystal stores out there, or you can go and visit a qualified crystal healer.  It’s believed when certain crystals are placed on various corresponding points of the body or Chakras, (the energy centres of the body), they in turn can promote a deep sense of healing and overall balance.  This is now a widely accepted therapy found in many high street and larger corporate spas around the world.

Be safe in the knowledge you grow from every negative experience – In my twenties I used to often take the ‘why me’ approach to the challenges of life. Further along my own spiritual journey, now in my late thirties, I no longer have that out look on life. Life is simply that, life. From the day we are born, we aren’t given any guarantees that we won’t ever experience pain, loss or unhappiness. In fact, lets be honest,  it is more of a guarantee that you will experience all of these things at some point on this earth. We all do, every single one of us.  Now instead, with every challenge or period of sadness sent my way, I have been taught by my own spiritual tutor, to go inward, to explore those feelings deeply and thoroughly, and live in the knowledge that in time, through the tears, frustration and unhappiness, I will gain a new wisdom and an inner strength, that maybe in time, will possibly help someone else along their own healing path.

15 Things I’ve Embraced In 37 Years

This a post has actually been inspired by my favourite blogger Zen Habits who recently reflected on what he has learnt during his life time in one of his posts.  I thought I would spend my time doing the same.   In March I turned 37.   Unexpectedly my 30’s have proven to be a real turning point in my life, almost as if I have finally acknowledged my soul purpose this time around.  The journey has been both complex and yet simple, happy and also sad,  above all it has been a continuous series of lessons and teachings, which I finally have found the strength and wisdom to acknowledge in my 30’s.  Today I simply share 15 of them with you.

1.  A kinder person is a wiser person.  Always embrace loving kindness in everything you do, even if you are frustrated, irritated, annoyed, tired, sad or even feeling emotionally challenged.  Loving kindness is one of the true foundations of our core being, being kind to others is in truth being kind to yourself.  So embrace it wholeheartedly every single day.

2. Be grateful for what you do have, rather than frustrated with what you don’t.   There is nothing wrong with having goals and desires, but don’t allow them to become the sole focus of your happiness.  If you continually seek something as your main reason for finding happiness you will never truly find that peace of which you search.  Happiness comes from feeling content and grateful for everything you do already have in your life.  The moment you let go of wanting more, and simply just allow yourself to feel happy for everything that has already entered your world, you move a step closer to the inner peace you desire.

3. Don’t de-value de-cluttering your space.   Everything is energy within our world.  Understand it or not, it’s how it is.  Clutter in your home, in your office, or in your car actually reflects a similar kind of energy back at you, in short if affects how you function and how you feel within yourself.  Spend a little time de-cluttering your space.  Clear out a draw in the bathroom, or the space under the bed, go hoover the car or simply spring clean a whole room.  You may be surprised how it makes you feel afterwards.  I love de-cluttering, in fact I am probably the official de-cluttering queen of the UK.   I do these kind of tasks every week (particularly in my office), it keeps me focussed, organised and motivated.

4. View every challenge in life as a valuable lesson that is teaching you something.  Sometimes life is good and sometimes life is a challenge, I think most people accept that that is simply life.   However, occasionally when the challenges are sent we can find it hard to cope and many of us may call upon the ‘why me’ attitude.  In my 20’s I shared this attitude, but over the years something changed and now I try to view every situation, every challenge or negative, as a lesson, as lesson that has been sent to help me learn something along this complex journey of life.  A few years ago when my husband was having a massive heart attack, and there I was, sat in the emergency room being told by doctors with worried expressions to simply ‘expect the worst’, I knew, wholeheartedly that, even though it was a  particularly mind blowingly worrying moment, it had in fact been sent to teach me something.  That acknowledgement deep within my core kept me calm, it kept me present and it simply enabled me to cope a little better.    Try and view your challenges in this light, even if you don’t understand the lesson that is being taught.  Just accept you are a student of the process of life and in time the lesson will become clearer.

5. Anger is a pointless emotion.   It really is.  Anger reflects our need to control the actions and opinions of others.  Don’t get me wrong, I still get angry.  I am human after all, but when I feel my emotional response to any given situation as anger,  I try my hardest to step back from the situation and ask myself ‘why I am actually feeling angry in this situation?’.  Nine times out of ten it’s because someone has said something rude, or acted in a way I consider inappropriate and I simply haven’t been able to control what they have said, or done.  So I have to ask myself the questions, “is my anger going to help the situation as a whole in the positive light?  Is it going to effect the other person involved in a positive way too?”  Probably not.  Anger eats us up inside, and more often than not it has more of a negative effect on us than it does the other person involved.    If you let go of the need to control what others actually say and do, you are half way there.

6. Stop trying to control.  So you think you can control your life?  You think you can master how your day, week, year is going to pan out?  You are wrong.  The fact is you cannot.   Yes opportunities may be sent to help you along the way, just as things may arise which you may consider to be getting in your way.  We spend so much of our life simply needing to control we in fact end up feeling as if we are loosing control.  It drives us nuts, it wears us out, it makes us frustrated when things don’t go ‘right’, so why keep doing it?  Just allow life to flow, nothing is right and nothing is wrong, it just simply is.  Try and view everything that comes your way, whatever it is, is actually how it should be.

7. Listen to your body. Your body is a complex piece of equipment and if you take the time to really keep in tune with it, it will certainly give you the heads up when it needs you to take some time out.   When I first opened my spa I worked like a trojan, I had no time for anything but work and more work. Although my body started to ache and creak, moaning at me to curb the 80 hour weeks, I simply ignored it – until one day I found myself flat on my back, unable to move, following a harmless sneeze.  Two bulging discs and 4 weeks of complete bed rest later, I started listening to my body.

8.Meditation is great for the soul.   I started my own meditation journey with a some guided meditation CD’s I purchased from Amazon, and I was simply amazed at the instant affect it had on how I felt within. I later took meditation classes and one on one spiritual development classes with a tutor.  To this day I still meditate on a regular basis, mostly daily.  Meditation doesn’t have to be complex, it can just start with 10 mins of quite time, just focusing on the breath or some gentle music.  Meditation lowers blood pressure, quietens the mind and allows the body to be still and simply in the present moment.

9.Try not to judge.  Judging others is more of a reflection of oneself than it is of the person you are judging.  Be mindful of why you are judging the person in the first place.  Remember people aren’t you and you aren’t them. Honor their individuality, you don’t have to like someone, that isn’t the rule here, but just try not to be judgemental of others actions or words.

10. Sometimes we don’t have all the answers,  and that’s o.k.  Sometimes we have to accept that outside forces, lack of knowledge, or other people involved in a situation may mean we simply don’t know how to handle or deal with something as well as we would like.  It doesn’t make us a bad person, it doesn’t mold us into who we are.  It’s just simply another lesson in life we need to embrace.

11. Love animals as if they were your friends.  Animals are amazingly effortless in bringing us joy, laughter and loyalcompanionship. I always had pets as a kid, I grew up surrounded by dogs, cats, rabbits and horses.  In my early years they taught me much about caring for others, embracing responsibilities and also death.  Animals should be shown respect with their role and place on this earth.  They teach us much and bring us joy.

12. Eat well, feel well.  You are what you eat.  We hear that a lot and in my experience it is true.  Don’t get me wrong,  I do eat rich and fatty foods, but in moderation.  If I want to feel energised, happy and balanced then I eat wholesome, low-fat and vitamin enriched foods.  Lots of protein, vegetables and foods that are packed full of the kind of fuel my body craves.  If I want my body to function well, then this is what I need to do to support it.

13. Spend as much time with your children as you can.  I don’t actually have kids, but I do have a nephew, who I adore.  He brings me much joy and laughter and I truly value every single moment we spend together.  Children don’t stay children forever, and I believe they can teach us so much about the child within ourselves, they help us reconnect with a moment in our own lives that was once free from financial worries, commitments and stress.  Children find fascination in the simplest of things, and sharing that thought process can also help us acknowledge the moment of the here and now, and remember how magical life can truly be.

14. Karma, what goes around comes around.   Live life honestly, compassionately and with an open heart and good things will come your way.  It doesn’t mean you won’t experience challenges in your life, it doesn’t necessarily mean you will be rich, or have the 6 kids you want, or win the lottery but if you live life embracing these values it will also open your eyes to what you should be grateful for and what true happiness is all about.

15. Our enemies can be our most valuable teachers  This one can be a hard lesson to learn,  but quite often it can be a very valuable one on a soul level.  People that frustrate us, annoy us or even upset us by being unkind, can in fact bring us some of our most valuable lessons in life.  The whole process may be a hurtful one at the time, but on reflection it can be a process that really enables us to grow on many levels.  It can teach us the art of patience, kindness, compassion and eventually bring us wisdom.

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A Quick Energy Boosting Breath

Everyday life can be, in short, exhausting.  As much as I try to meditate, part take in  regular yoga sessions and also try to source some regular ‘me time,’ every now and again I can still find myself  feeling tired and a little lacking in the energy department.

I was taught this is a little energy boosting breathing technique some where along my journey, and to this day, I will still call upon it when I sense I need a little helping hand to get me through the day.  It’s simple, quick and very effective, working on the principles of balancing the energy centres of the body, and boosting your Ki. It will also help you refocus on any tasks at hand and alleviate stress.

It doesn’t matter where you are, at work, at home, in the supermarket or even in the car (preferably not driving!) – it just takes a few moments to focus your breath and visual the colour orange and you are half way there.

If you can, close your eyes (if you don’t feel comfortable doing this, just focus your attention on an object nearby, this will help you ignore outside noises or distractions around you).   Place your hands gently on your stomach (just below your belly button) and start by taking a deep and slow breath in, as you do so, slowly count to the number seven.  As you inhale, imagine the air you are bringing into the body is a bright, vibrant orange light which slowly moves down to where your hands are resting, deep within your tummy.  Once you have reached seven, gently hold the breath (don’t force it), and again whilst counting to seven, imagine the orange light becoming a bright ball of orange, vibrant energy, growing slowly within your stomach.   Visualise it,  feel it, experience it.  On the count of seven, slowly release your breath, (again to the count of seven), and continue to imagine the orange light is moving back up through your stomach, chest and throat cleansing  your body as it is released. 

Repeat this exercise 5-10 times, and each time imagine the ball or energy expanding gently within your stomach.  With each inhilation the ball becomes brighter and stronger and you become lighter and more energised.   Don’t rush the process, allow it to happen slowly and naturally.  If you find it hard to hold your breath to the count of seven, reduce it to say five, work with your own breathing capabilities and what you feel comfortable with.

Focus strongly on your controlled breath and the colour orange and you may in fact surprise yourself with just how much better you feel after you have completed the exercise.

Eight Beautiful Ways to Boost ‘Being’

I have just spent the glorious bank holiday weekend all on my own.  Mr BZ was working the whole time and rather than mope about the house wondering what to do with my temporary singleton status, I decided to grab the opportunity with both hands, and spent three rare days off simply reconnecting.

Firstly I wrote a list, the inspiration came from Denise Linn’s Soul Coaching Program (which I am currently in the midst of – water week at the moment).  I began my first day in the garden with a  freshly ground coffee to hand.   I wrote a list of my Juice Zappers and Juice Boosters.   Basically anything that I am conscious of that raises my energy levels or depletes them.   For example, a few of my juice zappers are:

  • Untidiness
  • Fluorescent lighting
  • Noisy Television
  • Fatty Foods
  • Too much time on the laptop
  • Too much alcohol

And a few of my Juice Boosters are:

  • Lighting Candles
  • Hot aromatherapy baths
  • Fresh cut flowers
  • Being in nature
  • Yoga

All of us have zappers and juicers, these can be objects, people or things that we simply do day-to-day.  Whilst I sat there in the morning sunshine, I made a conscious decision to zap a few zapper and boost a few boosters over the next three days ahead.

Booster Task Number One – Reconnect With Nature

  I live in London, and although I have a garden it isn’t very private (terraced  houses over looking you at every angle), not that it bothers me too much.  However, today I wanted to really reconnect with nature.  So I dusted off my mountain bike (which hasn’t seen the light of day since last summer) and popped my yoga mat into my rucksack.  Off I cycled to Greenwich Park and there I lay in the beautiful sunshine, watching the clouds roll by as the birds sang their joyful songs.  So often we are bogged down by the every day mundane tasks we have to endure again and again, that we simply forget to just be still for a while and allow our bodies to rejuvenate a little.

Having time out in the fresh air, listening to nature is a fantastic juice booster.

Booster Task Number Two – Positive thinking.

  A little bit of cosmic ordering, positive thinking, dream weaving or whatever you’d like to call it!  Mr BZ often chuckles at me as I wander off to my office with my new  ‘vision board’,  carefully created full of pictures, words or images of things I wish to create or manifest in  my life.  I love it, it keeps me focussed and it reminds me of why I work so hard.    Now you don’t have to believe in the process (although trust  me it helps).   You can simply use it as a little tool to allow your dreams to spend a little time in your conscious mind.  The soul loves the truth, so be truthful with what you’d like to improve on in your life.

On this occasion I purchased a pretty journal and spent an hour or so writing down  all the things I wanted to achieve this year.   You can get really specific, I focussed  on relationships, home and my career.  Don’t limit yourself, take yourself back to an  almost child like state and allow your imagination to flow.

I always find this a really positive thing to do, even if I am feeling negative.

Booster Task Number Three – Meditation

 Now obviously being a Buddhist I am partial to a spot of meditation, in fact I do it      a lot.  It doesn’t have to be a daunting task, it can just be a few moments sitting or  laying down in a quiet room concentrating on your breath.  Just gentle, slow  breathing to quieten the mind.  You don’t have to force anything, just allow it to happen.

I prefer to meditate outside, for me the connection to fresh air and the sound of nature enhances the relaxation aspect of the process.

If you are new to meditation there are some fabulous videos on YouTube that can guide you through simple yet effective meditations.   Keep a look out, as I may be adding some Beautifully Zen Meditations to the blog in due course 🙂

Booster Number Four – Listening to some relaxing music

  Now you can call me a weirdo but I’m not really a television kinda chick.  In fact, at  times I can find having the television on in the house really quite irritating!

Music however is a completely different matter for me.  I simply love filling the  house with the sounds of beautiful piano music, or soft relaxing sounds, it touches me on a level I cannot describe, so incredibly soothing and nurturing for the soul.

My favourite composer of all time is the Italian pianist Ludovico Einaudi. His music  is simply beautiful.  I really could listen to him all day long, I would happily wheel him into my lounge, along with his piano and let him play every piece of music he has ever composed.   Lots of his stuff is free to listen to on YouTube so be sure to have a peek.  You won’t be disappointed.

Booster Task Number Five – Arrange Some Fresh Cut Flowers

  The sight and smell of fresh flowers is always nurturing for the soul.  So off I  trundled to the local supermarket and purchased a simply selection of flowers, and  on my return I spent a few minutes arranging them in two separate vases.

I then placed one vase in the lounge and one in the bedroom.  Every time I walked  into either room the scent lifted me and the sight of something bright and  beautifully in a corner of the room proved very pleasing on the eye.

Booster Number Six – Aromatherapy Associates Bath

  Now I love a bath!  I am a water sign and I find nothing more relaxing and refreshing than running a deep, hot steamy bath at the end of a hard days work (preferably listening to Einaudi at the same time).

Being a therapist I am fully aware of the healing powers of aromatherapy oils, trust me, don’t under-estimate the positive healing effects various oils can have on the body.       So off I went to Bluewater on day two and treated myself to a gorgeously scented bath oil from Aromatherapy Associates.  There are four or five different scent’s you can go for, but I chose Equilibrium, the full body over haul.  I wanted to re-balance and rejuvenate my soul.  Fill the tub up and wallow in the warm, soothing and cleansing waters and let you gentle thoughts unfold.

Booster Task Number Seven – Light Scented Candles for the Evening.

Candles are great for raising your personal energy and vibration, they also create  an incredibly soothing ambiance to any room.

To be honest, I always light candles.  In fact a few of my friends have said my house is more like a spa (maybe that’s why I own a spa?).  There’s nothing wrong with turning your house or simply a room into a little haven of your own ambiance!

Don’t worry about spending lots of money because you don’t have to.  Get yourself to Asda’s or Ikea and you’ll find you can in fact  pick up big packets of tea light candles for just a few pounds.   Scented ones are even better 🙂

Task Number Eight – Try a Spot Of Yoga

I discovered yoga just eight short weeks ago and already I am a complete yoga addict. Not only does it work for me on a physical level (already I can almost get my head on my knees when I touch my toes – a task I haven’t been able to do since I was about six!), but it also really connects with me on a spiritual level.

So on day two I packed my yoga mat back into my rucksack and headed off to my local common.    There I saluted the sun and completed a few standing poses until my blood pressure felt it had benefited and it was time to head back home.

Yoga relaxes, rejuvenates and quietens you to the core.  It’s no longer a ‘womens means of exercising’ either.  Many men are now seen in my local yoga class, and my personal one on one teacher is in fact a man! (lucky me).

All of these tasks are simple and cost almost nothing in fact, most of them do cost nothing!  So spend a little time honouring your soul, and reconnect with the things that boost your juice! 🙂